'American Idol' recap: The Top 24 and One Live Nude

The Hollywood Week/Vegas Pool Party portion of American Idol season 11 has been a long, strange trip -- and last night Steven Tyler provided a very convincing "closing argument" to the madness with a long, strange strip. A whole lotta ladies have professed their lust for this aging stripper, presumably in order to get on camera but hey, maybe not. As I gaze into Steven's visible gems -- the piles of bracelets, the delicate spots at which skinny calves pour into leopard-print ankle boots -- I wonder if I, too, might suddenly have a taste for some Fruit of the Loon.

The moment passes. Hope they were watching!
They probably weren't, because holy crap that was a long wait for 24 measly names. It took three hours over two nights to show (not even!) 42 kids shuffle miserably down a smoky catwalk. Next week, Idol will be on two hours for three nights. That's six hours of singing and sobbing. I better haul ass to the custom hanky store and and get me some fancy ladytissues à la Adam Brock.
Here they are, America...Your Top 24!
THE GUYS
Creighton Fraker
Joshua Ledet
Reed Grimm
Heejun Han
Phil Phillips Jr.
Colton Dixon
Adam Brock
Aaron Marcellus
Eben Franckewitz
Chase Likens
Jeremy Rosado
Deandre Brackensick
PLUS one of these four guys: Jermaine Jones (operatic gentle giant who sang a beautiful "I Believe in You and Me" as his final solo), Richie Law (awful cowboy), Johnny Keyser (wait a minute, wasn't he kicked off?), and David Leathers, Jr. (ohhhh baby give him one more chance). We'll find out Tuesday which one.